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| Silence reigns again,
It's the only day you live,
You cried and sweated all your dreams out,
You can never die.
You cannot be silent again,
Just an excuse to be yourself again,
Another cause to be me again,
Another role we can never play again.
Hands clasped under this veil,
You looked so beautiful in my nightmares,
Imagining us around the bend,
Behind your voice, my body lies.
Catch these words I throw at you,
They all fall around you like rocks,
Getting hurt was all you did,
Learning to be lonely again.
Walking towards me, smiling,
Nervous, anxious and scared,
Said something stupid, you bought it,
I never let go, until you took it back.
Your smile haunts my love,
That skin makes me shiver at night,
Those eyes help me bleed,
But you always saved me.
Loving you is so easy,
Your smell makes me smile,
Words never hurt me,
Until I knew they could break my heart.
I feel every breath you take,
None of them are for me,
You always seemed to know,
What you want, but never what you need.
Drink this again, until I am done,
You can never tell me who this is for,
What has this done to me,
To us.
Crying for help now,
Can't reach you,
Hoping to find a way to heaven,
Following your footsteps.
Eating on these fears, day and night,
Making stories til, I give up,
Waiting for you to feed me with your presence,
The wait, that never ends.
The blood til flows like it did in you,
Your temperature still rises like it used to,
Another year goes by you,
While another person is beside you.
Born on this day,
Beautiful and confident,
Just like a million sunrises exploding in your mind,
I woke up today feeling without you.
Wake up in the morning,
Taste the air and him,
Walk around your dreams without me,
Hope you trip, so I break your fall.
This disease and disaster started,
Another rainbow on your dress,
The kings and queens drowned,
In our fears and love.
Spell that word again,
Make me lose again,
Just another damn word from your mouth,
Will make me feel you again.
Pretend your life is true,
Have another kiss, its true,
Just cuddle him again, its true,
But are you?
Is love everything you want it to be?
Bleeding for me, made you cry,
Staying up for me, made you tired,
Being with me made you sad.
Your eyes still shining like moon on that night,
Pretend to hug me, I will die,
Injecting myself with you,
I will never give you back your heart.
Everyday has gone by,
You still linger on in my skin,
I can breathe with you Claudii,
I can be you.
It's your day and year,
So special to be you,
So special to be smiling,
So special, that your with him.
Every Hope and every Desire,
Make me feel myself again,
Your hands will never find me again,
You stopped trying, when you killed yourself.
Another year, another boy,
Growing old is getting old,
Ask me for anything,
Except to leave you alone.
6 minutes til you kiss him,
6 minutes til I bleed it all away,
Another 6 minutes, for this to end,
My 6 minutes will last forever.
Have I triggered something inside you,
Should I boil this hate before I taste it?
May I look into your eyes for the truth?
Can I taste your soul, for the last time?
Happy Birthday Claudii.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Claudia's,
Nesh
I love you now and will do forever.
| | |
| Broad, is this sea,
The salt, enters the wounds,
My take, on you is simple,
So heal, your fear.
To heal, your fear,
Time, spent wading off shore,
The calm, before the storm,
My take, from you is simple.
Catching and throwing,
Being everyone else,
Was easy for you,
Being yourself was being me.
So hurt me again,
Do it with him again,
Lies and tries,
Should you never heal. I will die.
Get back at me again,
That's what you do best,
You are already trying,
Hurting me already, can you still feel my pain?
Burning beds and ideas,
Killing my veins with your pressure,
Just know this one more time,
I hate being the one you cut off.
Touched,
Kissed,
Hated,
Forgotten,
Nesh
p.s.alex and issy.
| | |
| All the things you never know you need,
Looks like you get them in the end,
Saw me in leisure time and greed,
And by the time we get to spend.
Your skin gives off the luck I use,
It's all in your eyes, but you can't look,
Hands drawn closer and tighter,
Picking the right moment to grow this hate again.
I've never been this afraid,
To tear this dead skin away,
Wearing your smile, so beautiful,
Doing everything right at the wrong time.
Plugging into your rooted fear,
Knowing you, it'll be all over within this heartbeat,
Kissing those frogs again,
You never did find him.
A floating bed of misery,
Nothing can be done without help,
Sleeping tight every night,
This girl knows how to break them.
Loving like a hungry ghost,
Hating like us,
Feeding on this empty heart,
Nothing was found under those sheets.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Forgotten,
Nesh
p.s.I am dead.
| | |
| I wrote this poem just for you,
It sounds like love,
But, its true,
That's why I am vulgar.
I read a book about us,
It sounded more like your voice,
Rain and heat mixed in your voice,
A voice that I never could hear.
Runaway from all your boredom,
In me and this love,
Rooted problems of all your insecurities,
My skin crawls for you and died just like that.
I will describe the way I feel,
Bleeding wounds that will never heal,
Maybe you are just my second hand luck,
My first love and my last death.
Choking on this gravity,
Help me down, cut this noose,
Keep flying on your high horse,
You never even saw me coming to die.
You just love hurting what you don't feel anymore,
Holding me at night, I haven't felt your love,
Maybe feeling lonely was just what you wanted for me,
I feel undressed and lost.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Forgotten,
Nesh.
p.s.It hurt that you found someone else.
| | |
| You woke up proud and smiled,
Jumped out of bed, but your mind crawled,
Your face beautiful, your soul feeling ugly,
Eyes saw everything, didn't know anything.
Thought about the boy that made you laugh,
His body held you close and warm,
His fears you knew as yours,
Even I couldn't compete with him.
Your hair so wet, your lips so dry,
Watered down excitement,
With a stale breakfast of thoughts,
Minutes went by, you didn't flinch.
I waited for you to miss me,
Thought it was easy, for you to please me,
Hands clasped tight, you didn't see,
The misery I go through these days.
Crossing every boy you fantasized,
Every look turned into a stare,
His ways getting to your head,
Charm was always your weakness.
Gave you roses, asked your number,
You had sold your soul, so you went,
Went with him to heaven,
Left me in your hell.
Ran in gardens, build sand-castles,
Jumped from the highest mountain,
Til your laughter turned into a chore,
Your replacement is everything and more.
You never really kissed me,
Found it hard to follow me,
I fell for your hugs and love,
Thought you were real, when all this was just a dream.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Forgotten,
Nesh
p.s. I remember the promises you made under the blanket.
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