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| I wrote this poem just for you,
It sounds like love,
But, its true,
That's why I am vulgar.
I read a book about us,
It sounded more like your voice,
Rain and heat mixed in your voice,
A voice that I never could hear.
Runaway from all your boredom,
In me and this love,
Rooted problems of all your insecurities,
My skin crawls for you and died just like that.
I will describe the way I feel,
Bleeding wounds that will never heal,
Maybe you are just my second hand luck,
My first love and my last death.
Choking on this gravity,
Help me down, cut this noose,
Keep flying on your high horse,
You never even saw me coming to die.
You just love hurting what you don't feel anymore,
Holding me at night, I haven't felt your love,
Maybe feeling lonely was just what you wanted for me,
I feel undressed and lost.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Forgotten,
Nesh.
p.s.It hurt that you found someone else.
| | |
| You woke up proud and smiled,
Jumped out of bed, but your mind crawled,
Your face beautiful, your soul feeling ugly,
Eyes saw everything, didn't know anything.
Thought about the boy that made you laugh,
His body held you close and warm,
His fears you knew as yours,
Even I couldn't compete with him.
Your hair so wet, your lips so dry,
Watered down excitement,
With a stale breakfast of thoughts,
Minutes went by, you didn't flinch.
I waited for you to miss me,
Thought it was easy, for you to please me,
Hands clasped tight, you didn't see,
The misery I go through these days.
Crossing every boy you fantasized,
Every look turned into a stare,
His ways getting to your head,
Charm was always your weakness.
Gave you roses, asked your number,
You had sold your soul, so you went,
Went with him to heaven,
Left me in your hell.
Ran in gardens, build sand-castles,
Jumped from the highest mountain,
Til your laughter turned into a chore,
Your replacement is everything and more.
You never really kissed me,
Found it hard to follow me,
I fell for your hugs and love,
Thought you were real, when all this was just a dream.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Forgotten,
Nesh
p.s. I remember the promises you made under the blanket.
| | |
| Leaving felt horrible she said,
Jumping off the bridge would have felt better,
Killing in your name she said,
Would have meant nothing further.
Haunting me in my dreams she said,
Was not you, but him,
Thinking about him made me feel my life,
While you were busy burying yourself alive.
Self-delusional and confused,
Made my bed, so now I can choose,
Between death and death,
I always win when she's by my side.
Why did you take him out?
He never won you anything,
Wasn't special, she made me see it in her eyes,
I was never the one to make her feel surprised.
Kissing in the dark and light,
Hugging on the ground and on a height,
Juggling work and play, you never let go,
But now, I'm the one left picking up my pieces, while you go.
So, now what, where do we go?
Everywhere, I lost myself in you,
It's time to think about yourself now,
Maybe you should never have stopped.
Oh, the colour and place,
The time and your face,
Hell came and went, you were beside me,
But, his sight did everything, our love came behind me.
Lets cut to this moment,
Scarred for you my time and blood,
Boil this love over and pour it over me,
It burnt right through this time, and you didn't even stop me.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Claudia's,
Nesh.
p.s. This will never stop.
| | |
| Same blood runs through us,
Skin and culture changed us,
Kings and queens died for it,
It still didn't change the way you look at me.
An Indian whore stole your heart,
Jump on this band wagon driven by him,
Kiss them in the living colour of the night,
Forgot to ask me for compassion.
Hands made out of clay and shit,
Mud and heat of your holy presence,
Defend him and his dignity,
Hold him close at night.
Change this light and reflect it,
Jump and cross everyday,
Nail me to your wall like a rag doll,
Wear him at night for your amusement.
Hands held high burn quick,
Give me water to grow out this plan,
I have to exit this building to read,
His ways of locking you into fucking hell.
Just type this line several more times,
He will read it another several times,
Just kill another person in your sleep,
He will feel the pain you go through everyday.
Nature killed me off early for you,
Selecting the perfect storm for your pleasure,
Enter this room for liars and suffering,
Just another fucked up day to please you with.
Crimson flowers around this body of yours,
Tears falling from his eyes towards your hand,
Dying was easier said than done,
Maybe his arms will better support your fall.
Dying feathers on a bird,
Light up a storm of wishes unfullfilled,
Crucify these crumbling bones of desire and love,
Wish me to die on your candles.
Hand of all eternity rests on your shoulder,
Give it a rest and see my true colour,
This skin was given to me,
I didn't have a choice to make anything better.
Let go of this terrible dream,
You are out of patience and love,
His charm befriends your every move in life,
Voicing my concerns over your fucking decision.
Stop this infernal tragedy in your life,
Why don't you tell him to go,
This was your call for a long time,
Get this twin hand before it leaves too.
Jester, Oh fucking laughter,
I will need your concerns over my fucking actions,
Needed you as my everything,
Got you as his best friend.
Gather all this gasoline and pour it,
All over this burnt body,
Light it with fire and relive the experience,
You fucking knew you had her before me.
Jump through this fire and lake,
Kiss my time and place goodbye,
Enter this hallway of deceit and manipulation,
Through my Indian veins runs this love.
Hands that hurt your calling are never hurt,
They mess with your time and place,
Hurting that Jesus in your life was wrong,
He was everything to you, maybe even more.
Kiss and kiss and fucking leave,
Everything I stood for left through the door,
I was left here standing in the rain of her misery,
His shelter was her only hope, so defend his ways.
White skin never failed to make you want more,
Hurt was something I felt everyday,
Trauma and pain through this conversation,
I hate him more than myself.
Nevermind this story of a pathetic boy,
I lost interest in me before you did,
Losing was never fun for him and your boys,
Kicking dirt in my eyes must have been good.
Publish this hate through your voice,
Raise your concern over my skin colour,
Never imagined you to be this shallow,
Maybe his fucking ways are going to be better.
Exit this fucking light and smile,
Oh, the way he moves into your skin,
His devilish ways of seducing your mind,
Maybe taking tips was never my fucking way.
Lost in the depth of your hate,
Nevermind this hate, I hate myself more than you,
Maybe hating me isn't right,
I never get past cutting.
Dying in this useless waste of skin,
Killing in our own filth stained attire,
Bleed through your clothes,
Lets see the colour of your kind of blood.
I never want to see him bleed,
Oh No, the tragedy that will be,
Blood can never be shed from a pale skinned horse,
Get the dark one to die first.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Claudia's,
Indian Whore.
| | |
| Girls tried and got it,
Everyone had it in for me,
Jumped you on every occasion,
Slit your ideas with their mind.
Happiness is what you found,
Smiled and got saved,
Killed every memory for him,
Even he found it.
I would die for my sins,
Cut every babies head,
Using your angel hair,
Just to save you from me.
Evil attracted to you,
Made you into who you are,
The demon in your life is now gone,
But will you ever forget him?
Slice my fingers with your say,
Hurt my organs with your breath,
Just do anything that will make me feel again,
I wish I died.
A pathetic excuse to get you,
He always deserved you Claudia,
Made you feel like you were alive,
Do you taste me when you kiss him?
Not saying a word,
I knew what you would be thinking,
Maybe time helped,
I think it was love.
What will you do if I die?
Give away yourself to him,
In the dead of night,
While I weep in your heart.
You just walked away,
When I wasn't looking,
Held my hand through life,
Now I have to cross on my own.
Listen to him speak,
Ask him about his favourite colour,
Talk to him about love and life,
While I sit inside your head dying.
You cut this noose holding us together,
I can't eat and breathe,
This blood in my eyes stays black,
While I slowly rot away in yours.
Children die everyday,
Ours did too,
Father didn't give attention,
They weren't something that mommy would wear.
Kissing every tear when you cried,
Holding your heart with mine,
You held me close when I tried to die,
Now it seems, you want it.
Born in your eyes,
Landing in your veins,
I felt you in the middle of the day,
I slept with you every night.
Fears are all I got now,
Imagining them grow,
While you sit here trying not to cry,
I am pathetic.
I want to rip my flesh,
While I die slowly,
Looking at every picture of you,
Holding me.
Losing my feelings,
My bones ache thinking about you,
One last cut I promise myself,
I look forward to only bleeding.
Guessing your emotions everyday,
Holding myself in chains,
While the iron burns through my clothes,
I am a waste of skin.
I was one of your mistakes,
A crying, tragic waste of time,
You know how it aches,
And you still won't let me in.
I am used to sleeping with you,
Your breathing makes me comfortable,
Your voice is my home,
You were my fucking wife.
Maybe holding onto you is a good idea,
Cutting between my toes,
Holding every dream together,
Til I die in your arms.
Feeding this asshole food is a sin,
Tire him and wrap him in his own blood,
Make him kill these babies,
He never deserved her.
Poison this letter and bury it with him,
His children died with her,
An accident that he helped create,
I hope the one inside dies.
Maybe he will kill his family,
To feel used and abused,
Everyday he wishes to die,
He has ruined himself.
Touch this gentle skin,
Hold it close while you cut into it,
Carve your mistakes on your children,
They deserve it to be born bastards.
You took what matters to you,
Everything was lost in the fire,
Never did you look back,
I killed our children.
You saw him come out today,
Getting his attention, stealing his eye,
Kissing him once again,
I hope he makes you feel better.
Love went far enough to die,
It felt like it would never stop,
I hope it always goes on,
Because Claudia, I will die.
Touched,
Kissed,
Loved,
Claudia's,
.
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